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Заведи себе мохнатого друга!

МЮЗИКЛ "КОШКИ". ИЗБРАННЫЕ ТЕКСТЫ

Мюзикл CATS ("Кошки"), вероятно, самое значительное и знаменитое музыкальное произведение, посвящённое кошкам. Э. Ллойд Уэббер создал свой мюзикл по мотивам сборника детских стихов Т. С. Элиота. Премьера мюзикла CATS состоялась 11 мая 1981 года в Лондоне и 7 октября 1982 года – на Бродвее. Мюзикл продержался на Бродвее около 20 лет и шёл с неизменным успехом. Образы кошек из мюзикла прочно вошли в англоязычную культуру. В России свою версию мюзикла "Кошки" поставили в 2005 году.

Вашему вниманию предлагаются оригинальные английские тексты песен из мюзикла.

Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

If the area window is found ajar
And the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
(Which presently fails to be waterproof)
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest
And you can't find one of your winter vests
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
The family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
And the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow,
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
The family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming
The family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

Macavity, The Mystery Cat

Macavity! Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called the Hidden Paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

You may seek him in the basement
You may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again
Macavity's not there!

Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined in thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!

He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's

And when the larder's looted
Or the jewel cases rifled
Or when the milk is missing
Or another Peke's been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing:
Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place, Macavity wasn't there!

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer, Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
The Napoleon of Crime!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!

Mr. Mistoffelees

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees
The original Conjuring Cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees's conjuring turn

Presto!

And you'll all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He is quiet and small
He is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always decieving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it was merely misplaced

You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone!
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn!

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is uncontestable proof

Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Ladies and gentlemen
I give you the marvelous
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Memory

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats

There's a man over there with a look of surprise,
As much as to say, "Well now how about that!"
Do I actually see with my own very eyes
A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat?
What's a Jellicle cat? What's a Jellicle cat?

Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark?
Can you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?

Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do

When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer?

Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do

Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book and with bell?
Were you Whittington's friend? The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus of heaven or hell?

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats

We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up the wall, we can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire

Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats

Can you sing at the same time in more than one key
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss
And can you (as cats do) begin with a C
That always triumphantly brings down the house

Jellicle cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir

The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang "Vivat!"
Life to the everlasting cat!

Feline, fearless, faithful and true
To others who do what

Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats

Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, delphioracle cats
Skeptical cats, dispeptical cats
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle bells that Jellicles ring
Jellicle sharps and Jellicle flats
Jellicle songs that Jellicles sing

Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats

The Rum Tum Tugger

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any call for me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

When you let me in, then I want to go out
I'm always on the wrong side of every door
And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about
I like to lie in the bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss if I can't get out

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And it isn't any use for you to doubt it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast

My disobliging ways are a matter of habit
If you offer me fish then I always want a feast
When there isn't any fish then I won't eat rabbit
If you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer
But I only like what I find for myself
So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf

The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle
But I'll leap in your lap in the middle of your sewing
For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!